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90 Day Fiance: What NOT To Do

· Celebrity Couples

If you want to see what not to do, watch 90 Day Fiance or any of the spin offs. It's a personal guilty pleasure on my end. But, an important learning tool as well- few of these couples do The Rules.Most of the couples don't have a courtship prior. In fact, some don't even meet until the ninety day period starts! There is a lot that doesn't work with most long distance relationships and they seldom work. First, you barely get to see the other person. This not only leads to fantasy relationships, but, you can't get a good sense of the other person's character unless you're around them. Skype, texting, and phone calls don't make up for in person interaction. Unless he's coming to see you and properly court you, there are few ways that you can have a proper relationship. So, let's get to know some of these couples.

Chantel and Pedro are the first couple. It's unclear who spoke to whom first- just that they were introduced by a mutual friend so he can learn English and she can learn English. They have no real courtship and didn't spend a lot of time together besides the ninety days allowed on their fiance visa.It's apparent that he isn't in love with her. She had to visit him three times, then he proposed. It was also an issue when his flight got cancelled and he didn't tell her in a previous episode. Real men don't behave that way. It's also not okay for her to buy her ring while while he buys a gaming system that costs a few thousand dollars. Real men don't do that. Some other red flags are that he's sending so much money back home, as well as bringing a television, expecting her to buy a laptop, and bring a suitcase full of gifts. However, they live in a tiny apartment, he isn't working, and she's having to pay for everything. Cultural or not, that's not right or fair. She needs to run- he's only after money. On top of that, her mother in law's apartment is really nice- much nicer than theirs. I agree with her mom- I would be appalled as well. If they had a lot of money, I would understand being generous with family. But, they are young and can barely support themselves. His mom is also incredibly disrespectful to Chantel's family. While you can't help who you're related to, he needs to be standing up for her. It's also not unreasonable to make someone sign a prenuptial agreement. If he or his family makes a big deal out of it, that's a red flag.

Alexei and Loren are another couple. I'm not a huge fan of them as a couple but, I think they could work. She comes off as very spoiled and too emotional but, both of them have grown up a ton since they first appeared on the show. They met on a Birthright trip when they met. She describes it as “lust at first site” and it isn't sure who spoke to whom first. He is incredibly supportive of her and there are some cultural differences. But, overall, they seem to be doing fairly well.

Danielle and Mohammed are one of the first couples who divorced. They met in a chat room- she lives in Ohio, he's from Tunisia. Apparently, he proposed after five months- despite never meeting in person. There are tons of issues- she's unemployed and poor, he declined to kiss her at their wedding, and he goes off on trips without telling her. Both divorce but, she still chases him after the divorce and tries to get him deported. She keeps reaching out to women in his pictures on social media and harrassing them after their divorce, which is unacceptable.I would advise her to move on and date other people, as well as to stop contacting Mohammed. It's over- move on.

Jorge and Anfisa are probably going to be the next couple to call it quits. Jorge lied to Anfisa about his wealth. So, while he did pursue her, the lying is unacceptable and attracted a gold digger who only cares about his money. Anfisa is also a gold digger. She just expects to be able to spend his money and be pampered. She abuses him by blowing up his phone, forbidding him to talk to his family, and hitting him. Regardless of gender, that's never okay. There's no excuse for her behavior. Since she has a green card and isn't taking care of children, she should also have a job. There's no excuse for her to not work and contribute to the household

Pao and Russ won't ultimately work. She spoke to him first at a party to “practice her English”. They are also living in separate cities- she's in Miami and he's in Oklahoma. Her best friend hates him and she allows her husband to be disrespected, which no one should tolerate. She ran off to Miami and didn't help sell the house. On top of that, the agent seems like a hack and screws Paola out of multiple modeling jobs. He comes off as trying to be supportive. But, I doubt this will work long term.

However, there are a few couples from previous seasons that I think will go the distance.

Kirlyam and Alan met when he was serving as a Mormon missionary in Brazil. After his mission, he spoke to her. While he couldn't properly court her while serving as a missionary, he pursues her, brings her to California, and they have a son.

Amy and Danny are my favorite couple. He's American, she's South African, and they met on a bible study trip, where he pursued her and proposed. Her father even rejected her at first since they are a mixed race couple. However, he eventually accepted them, they have at least one child together, and still seem very much in love.

Noon and Kyle are another couple I like. He pursued her first when he traveled to Thailand, they got to know her, and he is crazy about her. He even agrees to move to Portland at one point to try to make her more comfortable and moves them into a nicer house.

Josh and Aleksandra are another couple that seem really solid. He met her while she was studying in Prague and he was serving as a Mormon missionary. While Mormon missionaries aren't allowed to date, he spoke to her first and began dating after his mission. He also flew to her home country, Russia, and properly proposed.

Most couples in the show are divorced, in unhappy marriages, separated, or in fantasy relationships. As a Rules Girl, you want none of this and want someone who is crazy about you. The two big take aways are that you must avoid fantasy relationships and he must properly court you to show that he's serious.

If you want to see what not to do, watch 90 Day Fiance or any of the spin offs. It's a personal guilty pleasure on my end. But, an important learning tool as well- few of these couples do The Rules.Most of the couples don't have a courtship prior. In fact, some don't even meet until the ninety day period starts! There is a lot that doesn't work with most long distance relationships and they seldom work. First, you barely get to see the other person. This not only leads to fantasy relationships, but, you can't get a good sense of the other person's character unless you're around them. Skype, texting, and phone calls don't make up for in person interaction. Unless he's coming to see you and properly court you, there are few ways that you can have a proper relationship. So, let's get to know some of these couples.

Chantel and Pedro are the first couple. It's unclear who spoke to whom first- just that they were introduced by a mutual friend so he can learn English and she can learn English. They have no real courtship and didn't spend a lot of time together besides the ninety days allowed on their fiance visa.It's apparent that he isn't in love with her. She had to visit him three times, then he proposed. It was also an issue when his flight got cancelled and he didn't tell her in a previous episode. Real men don't behave that way. It's also not okay for her to buy her ring while while he buys a gaming system that costs a few thousand dollars. Real men don't do that. Some other red flags are that he's sending so much money back home, as well as bringing a television, expecting her to buy a laptop, and bring a suitcase full of gifts. However, they live in a tiny apartment, he isn't working, and she's having to pay for everything. Cultural or not, that's not right or fair. She needs to run- he's only after money. On top of that, her mother in law's apartment is really nice- much nicer than theirs. I agree with her mom- I would be appalled as well. If they had a lot of money, I would understand being generous with family. But, they are young and can barely support themselves. His mom is also incredibly disrespectful to Chantel's family. While you can't help who you're related to, he needs to be standing up for her. It's also not unreasonable to make someone sign a prenuptial agreement. If he or his family makes a big deal out of it, that's a red flag.

Alexei and Loren are another couple. I'm not a huge fan of them as a couple but, I think they could work. She comes off as very spoiled and too emotional but, both of them have grown up a ton since they first appeared on the show. They met on a Birthright trip when they met. She describes it as “lust at first site” and it isn't sure who spoke to whom first. He is incredibly supportive of her and there are some cultural differences. But, overall, they seem to be doing fairly well.

Danielle and Mohammed are one of the first couples who divorced. They met in a chat room- she lives in Ohio, he's from Tunisia. Apparently, he proposed after five months- despite never meeting in person. There are tons of issues- she's unemployed and poor, he declined to kiss her at their wedding, and he goes off on trips without telling her. Both divorce but, she still chases him after the divorce and tries to get him deported. She keeps reaching out to women in his pictures on social media and harrassing them after their divorce, which is unacceptable.I would advise her to move on and date other people, as well as to stop contacting Mohammed. It's over- move on.

Jorge and Anfisa are probably going to be the next couple to call it quits. Jorge lied to Anfisa about his wealth. So, while he did pursue her, the lying is unacceptable and attracted a gold digger who only cares about his money. Anfisa is also a gold digger. She just expects to be able to spend his money and be pampered. She abuses him by blowing up his phone, forbidding him to talk to his family, and hitting him. Regardless of gender, that's never okay. There's no excuse for her behavior. Since she has a green card and isn't taking care of children, she should also have a job. There's no excuse for her to not work and contribute to the household

Pao and Russ won't ultimately work. She spoke to him first at a party to “practice her English”. They are also living in separate cities- she's in Miami and he's in Oklahoma. Her best friend hates him and she allows her husband to be disrespected, which no one should tolerate. She ran off to Miami and didn't help sell the house. On top of that, the agent seems like a hack and screws Paola out of multiple modeling jobs. He comes off as trying to be supportive. But, I doubt this will work long term.

However, there are a few couples from previous seasons that I think will go the distance.

Kirlyam and Alan met when he was serving as a Mormon missionary in Brazil. After his mission, he spoke to her. While he couldn't properly court her while serving as a missionary, he pursues her, brings her to California, and they have a son.

Amy and Danny are my favorite couple. He's American, she's South African, and they met on a bible study trip, where he pursued her and proposed. Her father even rejected her at first since they are a mixed race couple. However, he eventually accepted them, they have at least one child together, and still seem very much in love.

Noon and Kyle are another couple I like. He pursued her first when he traveled to Thailand, they got to know her, and he is crazy about her. He even agrees to move to Portland at one point to try to make her more comfortable and moves them into a nicer house.

Josh and Aleksandra are another couple that seem really solid. He met her while she was studying in Prague and he was serving as a Mormon missionary. While Mormon missionaries aren't allowed to date, he spoke to her first and began dating after his mission. He also flew to her home country, Russia, and properly proposed.

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