· self improvement

Have a healthy body image. Men find women with a healthy body image attractive. They don't want to hear about your butt, thighs, how fat you think you are, etc. They don't want you to have any qualms about how your body looks when you're intimate with them when the timing is right.

There are very few things to stress about- how you look isn't one of them. I have been everywhere from 135 pounds (which is actually underweight for my height and build) to 245 pounds (when I was sick and gained a ton of weight). But, guess what? I never had a hard time dating. The only time I did was when I was single about a year due to some pretty massive life changes. I wasn't emotionally available and went through a dry spell. But, at both 135 pounds and 245 pounds (although I didn't look it), I had boyfriends. As someone who has been on both ends of the spectrum, you are most attractive when you are happy and healthy. You need to be active, eating right, and looking the best for your body. Men respond to confident, healthy, happy women. A guy would rather date a confident woman with cellulite who does The Rules than a supermodel who is insecure.

Sometimes, The Rules can send mixed messages. You should definitely take care of your body. Honestly, there's no excuse not to unless you are severely ill, injured, or disabled. Even then, you need to do the best that you can. When I was at my heaviest, it may come as a shock to you that my diet was healthier than most. Yes, really. But, my iron tanked, my hormones were out of whack, and, for whatever reason, I gained a ton of weight when I got knocking on death's door sick. It was awful. Disclaimer: I have a bigger build and didn't look as heavy as I was. But, guess what? I still did The Rules (not perfectly, but pretty well), made sure my hair and make up were done, and dressed like a CUAO. I started getting my nails done (instead of doing them myself) as well. Guess what? Men were still attracted to me. Some days I didn't feel great but, I faked it. As a confident person, I can tell you that men are drawn to it. I also have naturally curly hair and refuse to permanently straighten it (although I do my own blow out at home on the weekends and it usually lasts most of the week).

Not all men like the same type of women. I have met men who like very big women and I know men who like very thin women. Some like curvaceous, bootylicious women (like me) and some like stick thin women. Regardless, there is someone for everyone. I had a boss who liked obese women. I have an uncle who likes women with short blonde hair and big boobs. When I say like, I mean that both of his ex wives and any woman that he's dated has had that look except one Hispanic woman he dated when he was stationed in California in his late teens. But, here's the thing: there are enough men and someone for everyone. Looks wise, someone will like you. Even when I hit my goal weight, I'm naturally thicker and curvier (like a size 10/12). Now, a good bit of that will be muscle. But, guess what? I have zero issues attracting men and very few with my confidence.

If you're obese, you will probably have a hard time dating. But, if you're close to height weight proportionate, work with what you've got. Heck, even if you're morbidly obese, you should still love yourself and be confident. Always focus on being active and healthy regardless of if you're a size 20 or a size 2. Have you ever heard the term "skinny fat"? These people are naturally thin but, eat junk food and don't work out. You don't want to be that either. You want to be happy, healthy, confident and active. Men don't want to date an insecure woman that they have to take care of. Honestly, it's a turn off in general.

Our bodies are wonderful. They can carry children, get you from Point A to Point B, allow you to enjoy sex, and other wonderful things. Also, our bodies are just a vessel for this lifetime. Many faiths feel that we will finally get our perfect and complete body without limitation in the next lifetime. But, until then, enjoy the body that you have.

If you need help meeting Mr. Right or building your confidence, book a consultation today or check out my free resources.

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