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Should You Wait Until Marriage?

· WaitingUntilMarriage

That's right! Today, we're talking about...sex;) Ever since I was getting to "that age" as a young woman, I was encouraged to wait until marriage to have sex. Now, at some point, I decided that I wasn't willing to do that (although I'm not sure why). Long story short, l didn't always make the best decisions in this category. However, between discovering The Rules about four years ago and converting to a different faith, I realized that everyone who told me to wait was right. I personally won't go into the latter but, did feel the need to explain the drastic shift in thinking.

If you had told me a year ago I would be waiting until marriage to have sex, I would have not only told you that you were crazy but, told you that it isn't a bright move. I mean, what if he wasn't that into sex? Or not that attracted to you? Impotent? Or any other issue you can think of. You never know...I've heard some horror stories. But, I noticed the couples at church who were older, had been married for a while, and had most likely waited to have sex. Guess what? The majority seemed happy and are in incredibly loving, caring marriages. While logic is hard to argue with, I started realizing that mine was a bit off.

Now, the reasons why weren't necessarily right for me BUT, one thing became clear:

It gave me more power as a woman. For the first time in relationships, holding off on sex (and making the recent decision to abstain entirely until marriage) gave me more power. I think clearer and from both a mental and emotional standpoint. I also know that I will trust my future spouse eternally before giving them access.

Before having sex, it was easy to be honest about whether or not the person I was dating was husband material. Looking back, the majority of them weren't for a variety of reasons. However, in the first few months you get caught up in the infatuation of the other person. Maybe he's even your look, everything you wanted on paper, etc...until he wasn't. Within two to four months, a person's true colors come out. Mr. Wonderful who treated you like a princess and made all of these promises suddenly isn't following through. The guy you met while you were out of town who was a huge adventure ends up having some pretty serious "Buyer Beware" level issues. He may drink too much or have a few different personalities due to a serious mental problem. Before having sex, you most likely would have moved on.
It's easier to be honest about whether or not the person I was dating was husband material. Looking back, the majority of them weren't for a variety of reasons. However, in the first few months you get caught up in the infatuation of the other person. Maybe he's even your look, everything you wanted on paper, etc...until he wasn't. Within two to four months, a person's true colors come out. Mr. Wonderful who treated you like a princess and made all of these promises suddenly isn't following through. The guy you met while you were out of town who was a huge adventure ends up having some pretty serious "Buyer Beware" level issues. He may drink too much or have a few different personalities due to a serious mental problem. My mom always says "passion covers a multitude of sins"- especially for women. If he has anything you wouldn't put up with before sex, you suddenly seem to put up with it afterward.

Unlike men, the average woman isn't that capable of casual sex. Now, maybe there are some who are. However, even the real life Samantha Jones will fall for a guy or two. Believe it.

You don't have to be a virgin if you decide to wait. Plenty of widowed, divorced, and women-like me- who have never been married but have held down a handful of serious relationships have made that choice later on in life. So, don't be discouraged if you're not. And, if you are a virgin? There is nothing wrong or "weird" about staying that way. In fact, plenty of my friends- in and out of my faith- have done this. Some are religious, some aren't. None of them regretted it. Also, your sex life is no one's business anyway.

Let's be real for a second. First, this is HARD. Secondly, you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE. However, I highly recommend it. But, if you don't, please wait until in a committed relationship with a man who has proven himself to you and is properly courting you. Anything less gets really old really quickly and is beneath you. Trust me. There is no right or wrong answer. Regardless of if you wait until you're in a committed, exclusive relationship OR if you wait until your wedding night, the right man will respect your choice. However, make sure that you're ready

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