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Can You Date Someone With Opposing Political Views?

The Real Housewives of Congress do not impress me nor do I keep up with them. Unpopular opinion but, I consider myself to be apolitical. However, there are a lot of people out there who do follow politics and take it seriously. In my opinion, they take it too seriously. While I do believe in voting and did vote in this election, I wrote “N/A” in the fill-in line for each candidate and voted for my local laws instead. I am utterly disgusted with the way most politicians behave and don’t support them. When politicians want to act like emotionally healthy, functioning adults, I will consider voting for them. However, I don’t support toddlers in adult bodies running the country.


According to the Pew Research Center, seventy-one percent of Democrats state that they would not want to date someone who voted for Donald Trump in 2016. You can read the study here. About half of Republicans stated that they would not want to date a Democrat.


So, what does this have to do with dating? Honestly, many people are cutting off a potentially good option because of political beliefs. While wanting to date someone of the same religion is understandable, I don’t feel that politics are in the same arena. While you can get a vague idea of someone’s beliefs and attitudes, it’s problematic when people are grouped and stereotyped based on ridiculous assumptions.


Are there Democrats who want socialism and think that Stalin was a great guy? I’m sure there are. Are there Republicans who feel that Trump is Jesus Christ reincarnated? Sadly, I’m sure there are. While the media would have you believe otherwise, this is the minority. I know quite a few immigrants (some of whom are Muslim) who voted for Trump in 2016. I also know plenty of boring, middle-aged white guys voting for Biden. The media’s fearmongering and constant need for attention is driving America into a divided country and it’s heartbreaking to witness. The average person is not what the media is portraying at all and, sadly, most people are stupid enough to believe the fear-mongering that the media portrays.

Another point is that there are people who regret who they voted for in 2016. While I don’t feel that who I voted for is anyone’s business, I would have voted differently than I did in 2016. Why should someone pay for past sins? All of us have done things that we aren’t proud of- myself included. No one’s past is spotless. If they claim it is, they are full of it. However, someone’s past is irrelevant if they have improved their present and are moving in a different direction in the future.


For example, it took me ten years to finish my Bachelor’s degree. I made a LOT of mistakes during that time and life happened (big time). I had medical complications with Celiac Disease and other chronic gastrointestinal issues that are now under control. I had mental health issues from losing my dad at sixteen, surviving a rape at nineteen, and stalker at twenty. I went to three different universities and slept with more people than I’m proud of in my early twenties. To top it off, my best friend of thirteen years took his own life after being falsely accused of something pretty awful and I became very reclusive while healing from that. However, I turned it around. I lost fifty pounds, am the founder of a small media company, published author, and have a reselling business on Mercari. Long story short, I turned it around and am thriving. If it isn’t fair to judge me for that, how is it fair to judge someone for something as petty and stupid as their 2016 political candidate? To me, that is beyond ridiculous. If someone is currently a hot mess, you probably shouldn’t date them. However, if they turn it around and are on the right track, give them a shot.


In all honesty, I don’t feel like most people really know what they want until they experience the contrast. While someone could say they would never date someone for a certain reason, I have seen people come together in mysterious ways that defy any sense of logic. While it’s fair to have requirements and boundaries for a partner, how they treat you is ultimately most important. That guy who voted for Trump may be the most amazing partner that you could imagine. On the flip side, that feminist liberal who thinks Kamala Harris is Wonder Woman may be the most loving, kind woman on the planet that anyone would be lucky to build a life with.

Ironically, many people have dated outside of their political affiliation and are happily married. James Carville and Mary Matalin, who worked on opposing presidential campaigns, are still married decades later. I know many people who voted for opposing candidates in other elections. I even have a friend whose husband is a Democrat and she’s a Republican. They put opposing yard signs on different sides of their yard and certainly aren’t getting divorced over different political beliefs.

Another thing to remember is that people do occasionally change. I know many people who switched political parties, converted religions, and made other changes after they got married. For healthy couples, I feel like this is because they have a new perspective and become more open minded.

I won’t date someone who is a die-hard Republican or Democrat. I want a fellow moderate or apolitical person. It’s fair if politics are a part of your life. However, they should not be your whole life. In the same regard, another person should not be your whole life either. In all honesty, the biggest turn off on a date is someone who just wants to talk about politics- especially if we’re still getting to know each other.

What matters is how someone treats you. Regardless of income, political affiliation, race, religion, or any other factor, how someone treats you, having common goals, and how you feel with them is what matters. It’s fair to want common values but, it’s ridiculous to believe that two political parties accurately represent American values. So, give them a chance and keep an open mind!

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