Recently, I was going through one of The Rules support groups. As a new coach, I like to help people out as much as I can. However, there was a very interesting case: a woman was set to leave on a military deployment and wanted to know what to do with her dating sites and apps. I had never considered this for some reason but, did some research and want to help all of our ladies in uniform out. I also had to dig back into things that I learned from relatives who served in the military and from when I used to live near two huge military bases. But, these are some good guide lines to follow if you're a Rules Girl serving on a military deployment:
-If you are considering keeping up your profiles, put up a note that you will be deploying. If you live in a military area, it won't be that unusual. But, don't plan on answering messages. This can lead to fantasy relationships and distract you.
-Temporarily deactivate or take down profiles. I would recommend this more but, it depends on you. On a deployment, you can't really date and it's near impossible for a man to court you thousands of miles away.
-Don't hook up on your deployment. I've heard some crazy stories and, while not trying to slut shame, it isn't a good idea. I remember being on dates with a few men who served as medics and corpsmen who told me some crazy stories about STDs and other sex-related things.
-Work on yourself. In your downtime, keep yourself busy. Read, hit the gym, and do other things to better yourself.
-Do your best to look like a CUAO. This may be hard but, at least put on some waterproof mascara and lip gloss or tinted lip balm. Granted, if you're in the field and doing things that will make you look/feel gross, don't worry about this too much. But, you still need to look and feel like a woman.
-Practice being a CUAO. During work hours, you may have to be more assertive and that's fine- it's your job. But, after you're off, practice being more feminine and practice The Rules.
-Be careful about fraternization. Different branches have different rules but, as a general rule, dating during a deployment probably isn't a good idea. Wait until you get home and settle down a bit before dating. If you need help, ask for it and decompress for a while before throwing yourself into dating. Give yourself a month or so to readjust to day to day life. While I've never served in the military, I've dated people who have and the bulk of my male relatives served.
-If you're in a new relationship, consider taking a break. That could lead to drama and a roller coaster that you won't need to deal with. If you are in a pretty established relationship, that's different. A deployment could (understandably) add to your courtship BUT, he still has to initiate FaceTimes, Skype dates, etc. Don't talk for more than about twenty to thirty minutes. Also, the three-day rule still applies but, it doesn't have to be on a Saturday.
Finally, thank you for your service. Without you, we certainly wouldn't be the country we are. Thank you for fighting for our freedom and putting your life on the line! Whether dating someone in the military or serving in the military, there are some unique challenges and I would love to help you find Mr. Right. If you need any help, feel free to book a consultation and ask about our military discount.
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