In the self improvement realm, there is a “Keeping up with the Joneses” mentality that is easy to get sucked into. Like many other people, I have done it too. I also used to be a dating coach before switching to full time content creation. While there are some truly excellent coaches out there, I have seen the good and the bad. If you want to learn from my mistakes, here is the best advice I can give you:
- Consume their free advice first. If their advice is that good, consider buying a book, course, joining a membership, or buying any other offers. Honestly, if their advice does help you, consider supporting their content- even if it’s just a few dollars on their PayPal or Cash App. I personally prefer writing books and creating written content since that is most aligned with me. Everyone is different.
- It’s impossible for a coach to know your entire situation. Even the best coaches only know what we’re being told and only get one side of the story. People also have different life experiences that can impact their decisions.
- Don’t necessarily assume someone is the best because they’re married. There are a lot of married “dating experts” who are in messed up marriages. Likewise, there are also single people who are incredibly knowledgeable (like me).
- Be wary if they use their partner to advertise. The occasional cute, candid couples picture is normal. However, if they are being overly open about their partner and using them as a selling point, run.
- Be wary of a coach charging exorbitant amounts of money for courses, books, access, etc. The most I would recommend paying for a course is two hundred dollars. It’s fair for someone to charge for one on one or small group coaching. In all honesty, that’s to be expected. Their time is as valuable as anyone else’s and you aren’t entitled to free advice. However, some take it too far.
- Take anyone’s advice with a grain of salt- including mine. While I have vast life experience, I’m not perfect nor do I know everything. If anyone thinks they know everything, they are delusional.
- Coaching is not a substitution for therapy. Some dating coaches do happen to be licensed therapists. However, this isn’t always true. While coaching can be helpful, YouTube and Google may offer you more answers for free.
- Try new things and find what works for you. Avoid “my way of the highway” or overly pushy people. The right people will want you to learn from others. If they are pushy and say they’re right and everyone else is wrong, they are not people who you have anything to learn from. Anyone like this lacks a growth mindset and is someone you need to run from.
- Be careful of anything that is overly restrictive. It may work to a point. However, you will likely end up a stressed out, neurotic basket case. It’s not worth it.
Lastly, RUN if anyone is encouraging you to spend money you don’t have to “change your life”. While it will change your life, it will not be for the better of it involves going into debt.