A few weeks ago, a very promising relationship ended. I won't go into a lot of the details but, I will make two important notes. 1) It was through no fault of my own (98% was on him). 2) It went down horribly and hugely betrayed my trust. To answer your next question, it was a Rules relationship. However, I still feel manipulated and like there were some ulterior motives there. Break ups suck and sometimes they happen in Rules relationships. Why? Usually, the relationship wasn't meant to be. If there's a break up now, it's usually for the best. I'm not going into a lot of detail about my situation besides the fact that it wasn't on me (those privy to the situation will tell you the same).
Needless to say, the last few weeks have been rough. Part of me still wonders how something that seemed so perfect turned to a steaming pile of crap- despite doing The Rules. Let's get one thing straight though: I would never take him back in a million years (or any ex for that matter). But, I've had a lot of huge wins- scoring collaborations that will help my coaching business, passing the dreaded accounting class I was terrified of failing (again), and finally having some time to focus on blogging again. Life is good, God is good- no complaints here.
Within an hour of breaking up, I asked seven friends to set me up (none panned out) and set up FOUR online dating profiles. My best friend and I also went to one of the cat cafes downtown and had a blast. Two weeks later, I have a date this weekend. I also got asked out by three different guys last weekend but, it was too late in the week and we had a freak snow storm. Case in point: no one was going anywhere. I also started researching the Law of Attraction and, despite being a Rules Coach, vowed to be even stricter than I was when we met. If something smells like crap, it probably is and I won't get treated this way again.
For men, the best looking woman on the planet is their ex on another man's arm. Usually, men really start regretting a break up- especially if they realize that the woman was out of their league. So, I'm twice as determined now to keep working towards my health, weight loss, and fitness goals.
The Rules tell us to move on ASAP. On top of that, they weed out men that aren't right for us (usually early on) and, down the road Mr. Wonderful won't seem quite so wonderful anymore. So, to help you feel like the Creature Unlike Any Other that you are, I put together the ultimate playlist to recover from your break up.
- "Hold Up", Beyonce. Honestly, anything by Beyonce is probably good. I honestly listened to Lemonade more times than I can count. In the song, she calls out her man for cheating and lets him know that he's on to her. While I've never been cheated on, I can imagine that it sucks. He was a jerk, right? Stop crying about it.
- "Shout Out to My Ex", Little Mix. He left you for another chick? Good Riddance. Get over it. Did I mention the sex sucked? This is the basic point of the song. If he really thinks the grass is greener, let him graze and water your own grass. Mr. Right will come and you will do better. Mr. Right will be a big improvement too. You can't see it but, it's gonna happen. Also, delete, block, etc. since there's no need for contact. You two are done, why bother?
- "Going Out Like That", Reba McEntire. If there is a CUAO song, this is it. 100%. He dumped you? Screw him- go out, look good, and let other men chase you. This makes him regret it and, by the time he begs you back, you're done with him. Screw him.
- "Tyrone", Erykah Badu. This is the song for when you're fed up with his bad behavior. He got lazy, didn't contribute anything, and expected you to do everything. You're sick of it. He needs to pack his crap and leave. #BoyBye
- "Turn on The Radio", Reba McEntire. After a break up, this is all the contact he's getting. He can keep up with you and start kicking himself. But, should you ever talk to him? Hell no.
- "Ain't It Funny", J Lo. She may not have the CUAO track record, but she has the attitude and the look. This is the song for when she realizes her ex was a jerk and he wants her back. Crazy timing, right? She's not falling for it- neither for you.
- "IDGAF", Dua Lipa. He's realizing he made a mistake. Does she care? Nope, she's done (and so are you).
- "You Broke Up With Me", Walker Hayes. He's mad that you're moving on? Whatever. You don't need to listen to his guilt trip. He made his own bed and can lie in it alone.
- "Singles You Up", Jordan Davis. This is the song where a guy secretly wants you but, you aren't broken up...yet. However, it's probably gonna happen and he'll be a better fit for you. Unlike your current guy, he realizes you're a catch and wants you to know it.
- "Don't Bother", Shakira. He's dating a new chick? Whatever, you don't care. She's probably not that great anyway. Plus, you're dating someone better and you don't feel bad. He doesn't need to feel sorry for you.
- "Float On", Modest Mouse. He was a jerk? Whatever, just float on...into another man's arms.
- "Ex's and Oh's", Elle King. He wasn't the right one? Move on. Is he going to run back to you? Of course. Will you take him back? Nope.
- "Gives You Hell", All American Rejects. Boy meets girl. Girl dumps boy. He's heartbroken. He hopes she regrets dumping him.
- "Freedom", Beyonce. This is one I listened to a LOT after my break up. Why? Because I'm free now and can do what I want. Freedom is always a good thing.
- "Flawless", Beyonce. There's no way to not feel hot after listening to this song. In case you needed the reminder, you're a flawless goddess.
- "Irreplaceable", Beyonce. He thinks he can replace you? Fine. He can pack his stuff and leave. He doesn't know about you. He's replaceable- not you.
- "Survivor", Destiny's Child. You're alone now. So what? You can make it without him- even if it seems like a scary, lonely path. Whatever- you're doing better! Hang in there!
- "Never Been Better", Olly Murs. He thought he could bring you down, but he can't. You just came back better.
- "Sorry Not Sorry", Demi Lovato. Revenge Body+Going Out With Other Guys+Doing Better= he's begging you back. Do you take him back? Nope.
- "Lips Are Movin'", Meghan Trainor. He's officially begging you back now. But, you won't take him back because you know that he's a liar. Plus, cute fashion ideas!
- "No Scrubs", TLC. He isn't the catch you thought he was. Are you interested? No.
- "I Don't Need a Man", Pussycat Dolls. You're hot, sexy, and a woman in demand. You don't need a man- men need you.
- "Ghost", Ella Henderson. He's there. You're trying to get rid of him but, can't.
- "According to You", Orianthi. Your ex says you aren't that great. Your new guy thinks your awesome. Go with the new guy and forget your ex.
- "U + Ur Hand", P!nk. It's over. You two are done. He misses the physical aspect of your relationship and you tell him how to handle it.
Rules girls: don't let a break up get you down! Pull yourself together, have fun, and move on! Easier said than done but, you can do it. And when he begs you back? Just laugh and leave it alone- no need for contact.