When it comes to dating apps, the odds are good but the goods are odd. If dating was simply a numbers game, you would meet your future partner in about five minutes on a dating app. There are thousands of options- maybe more. However, you will have to sift through a lot of crap to find anyone good. Don’t get me wrong- you may find a diamond in the rough. But, the goods along the way will definitely be very odd.
If dating were that simple, everyone would be happily taken. However, it isn’t that simple. Between OkCupid, Tinder and Plenty of Fish, I’ve gone on many dates over the last decade. Out of the three serious relationships I’ve had, I met two online and one in person. Most of the people I dated in between those were people I met on dating apps. While there were a handful of people I really enjoyed dating, most of them weren’t worth it.
While dating can be hit or miss whether you use dating apps or not, there is a false sense of intimacy that dating apps can bring. Ideally, you meet up with someone quickly. So, you barely get to know them beforehand. Before social media and dating apps., most couples got to know each other for a while before things turned romantic.
With that being said, I know many people who met on dating sites and apps who are happily married. But, I don’t think it’s a necessity. In my experience, dating apps have proven to waste more time than introduce me to anyone worth dating seriously. However, I would never dissuade someone to try them.
The best relationships are the ones that happen organically. In all of the happily married couples I know, love found them when they were both ready to receive it. There was no desperation or forcing. If anything, there was little effort on either end and both had more or less given up (which released any resistance).
If you want to attract the right person, the only way to do it is to improve yourself and put yourself out there so the right people can find you. Right now, that’s easier said than done. However, when you’re ready, who you want will show up and you won’t be able to mess it up.