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When An Ex Reaches Out...

· break up

When it comes to an ex, his time is up. After he dumps you, the relationship is over. However, many men seem to have some remorse after this. Did I really just dump her? Man, I'm all alone and this sucks. The grass that he thought was greener is now dirt. After a break up always sucks- regardless of who ended it. That freedom he thought he got is now loneliness. All the gorgeous women he thought he would be dating are turning it down. In his mind, it sucks to be him.

So, what does he do? He texts you. It may even be months or years down the road. Heck, it may even be the next day. He will play the "Come on, let's be friends" or "I have something I need to tell you" card. The majority of the time, you two will NOT end up being friends and the "something he needs to tell you" is nothing you really need to know. He may be pretending to "check on you" after a break up. Regardless, nothing you say or do in response will be good. The only thing to say is nothing. Ignore him. Date other people.

So, why do guys do this? Most of the time, it's for an ego boost. Sometimes, it may be to hook up. Regardless, the reasons are seldom good. With the end of every relationship I've ever been in- regardless of who ended it- I realize that it was always for the better and would not go back to any of them. Like most women, I've dated a mix of great and not so great guys. Even if they were "perfect", mom liked them, etc., I would not take them back after a break up. When it's over, it's over. In The Rules and some other books, they give some advice on getting an ex back but, it will seldom work. There are some extenuating circumstances but, you most likely aren't the exception.

So, when can you take back an ex? There are some really weird scenarios that I have personally heard. But, they are rare. In the case that you will be apart for more than six months and mutually "take a break", you can consider taking him back. This could include serving a mission, deployment, studying abroad, or if he has to be gone for over six months. But, even then, most men will try to make it work.

The second scenario is if he hasn't proposed and you dumped him. If you end things leaving the door open to that, this is when he gets his one shot. But, if it doesn't happen then, no contact. Sometimes, this happens. But, overall, no contact is the best way to handle an ex.

So, what should you do when you run into an ex? Look great. You should do this anyway but, especially if you're running into an ex.

Back in January, I had the opportunity to witness the Presidential Inauguration in person. My tickets weren't great but, I still got to go. Needless to say, I had a blast! That morning, I flew home to Atlanta and dressed really well- cute flats, jeans, and a nice, red button down shirt. I had also lost about twenty pounds, had my hair and make up done, and gotten multiple compliments (even from TSA agents). Out of all of the places to run into an ex, I ran into my recent ex boyfriend who ended things horribly at one of the busiest airports on the planet. Guess what I did? Put a big smile on my face, got my bags, and left. Nothing needed to be said- he could take a hint. It hurt a little at the time but, didn't diminish such an awesome trip.

Mama June from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is another example. In the spin off, her niece recommends that she loses weight and shows up to his wedding looking really hot. Now, let's get one thing clear: she was invited to the wedding and they had kids together. Here's another kicker: he prefers large women. But, that doesn't matter- having her look great and other men checking her out was the best revenge she could get.

When it comes to an ex, say nothing. Date others, have fun, and work on yourself. If you're tempted to reach out to him, reach out to me instead.

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