Within a week of the one year anniversary where my ex and I broke up, I started dating again. The original plan was to wait until New Years Eve but, something told me to go for it and start dating again. In The Rules, this is the last thing you should do. If you need to work on yourself, do that. But, you need to keep dating again.
However, my situation was a little different. First and foremost, I've never had a hard time attracting men. But, picking the right one wasn't my strong suit. Sound familiar? Even the guys that should have been awesome or looked great on paper didn't work out. However, that's really personal. So, I won't go into how or why. But, here's why I took a year off:
1) I converted religions. As a new Mormon, I wanted to be grounded in my faith first. While it can wax and wane, I feel that I have a pretty solid foundation in my faith. For the first time in a long time, I can trust God again. I won't go into detail but, it's an amazing feeling. However, going from an atheist/agnostic to observant Mormon meant a lot changed. I had to vow not to have sex before marriage, start going to church, stop drinking coffee, start talking to God again, and a lot of other big changes. Instead of working on Sundays, I was at church and at lessons with our missionaries. Long story short- a lot changed (for the better). There was no way I could have someone else in the picture when I was still working on my self to that degree.
2) I was really sick, had gained forty pounds (most of which I have lost!), and was knocking on death's door. I won't go into detail here but, had I known how sick I was, I would have refrained from dating until I was 100% better. It wasn't fair to my boyfriend at the time. However, in all honesty, I didn't realize how sick I was and, had I known, would have refrained from dating anyone.
3) I was gearing up to start a business. In fact, you're reading it now. While you can do this and date, it isn't easy.
Would I do it again? Yes. However, I would have been more prepared and maybe not waited a year. It's really hard to go on a date after a year- even if he pursues you.
Would I recommend it? Only in EXTREME circumstances. Statistically speaking, this is maybe one percent of all break ups- if that. But, unless you're a widow, you shouldn't take more than a year off of dating. If you're going through a ton of life changes, having a child, or leaving an abusive relationship, that could take some time. But, no more than a year.
If you're suffering from a recent break up, book a consultation today and let me help you.
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